Here are the winners: 1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time. 2. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole. 3. Intaxicaton: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with. 4. Reintarnation: Coming back...
*While walking down the street one day a politician is hit by a truck and dies.* *His soul arrives in heaven and is met by an angel at the entrance.* *"Welcome to heaven," says the angel. "Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see politicians around these parts, you see, so we're not sure what to do with you."* *"No problem, ...
All of the 10 Senior Members of the Board of Directors of the Company were called into the Chairman's office one by one . . . until only Bob, the junior-most Member, was left sitting outside. Finally it was his turn to be summoned . . . He entered the Office to find the Chairman and the ten other Directors seated around the Board Table. He was invi...
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Kim Jong Un decided to send Donald Trump a letter in his own handwriting to let him know he was still in the game. Trump opened the letter which appeared to contain a single-line coded message :                     *370HSSV-0773H* Trump was baffled, so he e-mailed it to the his aides, who had no clu...
​ First year Oxford Unversity medical students were attending their 1st Anatomy Class. They all gathered around the table and there was a real dead body on the table. The Professor, Loveluck started the class by telling them two important qualities of a DOCTOR. He said, "The 1st is that never be DISGUSTED about anything in the body." For ...
​ A British doctor says: "In Britain, medicine is so advanced that we cut off a man's liver, put it in another man, and in 6 weeks, he is looking for a job." The German doctor says: "That's nothing, in Germany we took part of a brain, put it in another man, and in 4 weeks he is looking for a job." The Russian doctor says: "Gentlemen, we took half a...
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Wife: Go back to where you are coming from with your whores!! Husband: Open the door please, or I will throw myself into the swimming pool. Wife: Go ahead and kill yourself, do you think I care? So the Husband stands near the dark part of the deck, waited for 2 minutes. Then he took a big stone and threw it into the swimming pool. His wife heard th...
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 Photos from Africa 
​No English dictionary has been able to explain the difference between the two words COMPLETE and FINISHED. Some people say there's no difference but there is. When you marry the right woman  you are COMPLETE!  When you marry the wrong woman you are FINISHED! And if you marry  a wife who likes shopping, you are COMPLETELY FINISHED&nb...
​ Not sure whether this is true but it is good to share "The Tibetan Lama Council has recently proclaimed that Michael Jackson is reborn as a duck and is now residing in a farm in Lhasa, Tibet.  A video captured by the farm owner recently showed that he is happy and has not forgotten his signature dance moves."
​ COLD WAR A woman and her 7 years old son were inside a Taxi. It was raining and all the twilight girls (Prostitutes) were standing by the roadside. The Boy asked; "Mummy, what are all those women doing?." His Mother replied; "They are waiting for their husbands to come back from work." The Taxi driver turned around and said; "Why don't you tell h...
While driving down a deserted stretch of highway, a man noticed a sign out of the corner of his eye. It read, SISTERS OF ST. AGNES HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION 10 MILES At first, he thought this was a figment of his imagination. And he drove on without a second thought. Soon he saw another sign which read, SISTERS OF ST. AGNES HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION 5 MILE...