Friday, 19 July 2019

Ikea’s new world order


The renowned Swedish furniture company, known for its austere sense of aesthetics, deriving from meticulous studying of statics and geometry, has been delegated by the World Nautical Society to design the latest world map, with all accompanying continents and oceans. The Ikea experts came with some rather radical solutions for representing the current world order. They deliberately omitted some countries they perceive as unimportant to the global policies, and emphasised other countries that they see as leaders of the modern world. Some countries like Bulgaria, New Zealand, Lichtenstein, and Palau Island are completely left out, with their legal territories being simply swept away from the map. "There is no need to be so petty about some trivial settlements. In the world of today, there's no place for small and scrupulous ones, unfortunately. This is the lesson they will have to learn the harder way, I'm afraid", Ikea officials said.
Some other countries, on the other hands, have been somewhat augmented. The United States, for example, spread all over South America now, as Swedes predict some interesting things about the future political currents. But Swedes say it's just their way of saying thanks to Americans, who've been cheerfully accepting Swedish pop authors for years.
Ikea, however, depicts some unknown and probably non-existent islands, on which they plan to base their furniture manufacturing for online sales.
How will sailing ships use this map for their routes, and avoid collisions with unrecorded mainland, and anchor at the fictitious ones is yet to be determined.


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