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Tuesday, 18 June 2019
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Irish Female Rugby team granted the honor of watching the Irish Male team train for free.

Irish Female Rugby team granted the honor of watching the Irish Male team train for free.

In recognition of their recent sporting achievements, the Irish Ladies Rugby team, who are currently preparing for the Six Nations were offered the opportunity of watching the male team train for free.

In a recent conference, when asked to comment on the opportunity a representative from the male side replied,

“Sure, look, it’s absolutely no worries at all. Now that they have decided to give the sport a go, we will give them a helping hand. By watching us and seeing how it’s done they can up their game and maybe, one day, be in with a chance of playing against an international side.”

The representative seemed to be surprised by the room full of laughter that followed this statement and even more perplexed when a reporter asked him for his real reply, all joking aside. He shrugged and replied brusquely,

“They stand to learn a lot from these guys, we beat France in the Six Nations in 2014. That’s no easy feat.”

At this point a recess was called and when head coach of the Ladies Team, Tom Tierney stepped forward to inform the speaker that the Irish ladies had not only competed against an international side, but had indeed won the Triple Crown in 2013, the male representative retired to the toilet. Returning ten minutes later with a beer in hand and inexplicably bleary eyed, the representative snatched the microphone off the desk and let out a long, slow breath,

“The ladies stand to learn a lot because…because…we have been doing this a long time. And, fine then, they won the Triple Crown but there was probably nobody else playing. “

When informed that there were countries from all over the world playing against them, he sighed, tossled his hair and continued,

“You just don’t get it do you? There are technically less women in the world than there are men. Like, obviously it’s easier to win if there are less people in the category.”

When it was noted that the world gender ratio was very close at 101 males to every 100 females, he sniggered and replied,

“See, see. That’s still loads. One is still a large amount of numbers.”

At this point, he slammed the microphone down on the table and shouted,

“We can grow beards. Ever thought about that? The women have never done that. Try telling me that it’s not harder to play rugby when you have to get up in the morning and put hours into trimming your facial hair. It also operates against your speed as an athlete. Look, look. ”

He gestured towards his beard and began to run laps around the conference room, shouting,

“Come on then, which of you ladies is going to run against me? I’m better than you. I’m better than you.”

He then removed one of the rugby balls from the demonstration stand, continued to run out into the parking lot and kicked it with full force. It landed on the front window of a Land Rover. Before fleeing the scene, he was heard shouting,

“I meant to do that. I needed a new window anyway.”

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