Thursday, 19 September 2019

It’s A Minefield Out There. Kids Parties go Nuclear!

It’s A Minefield Out There.  Kids Parties go Nuclear!

This week we heard news that a child who failed to turn up as an invited guest to a birthday bash in Plymouth got a letter in the post demanding restitution. You may snigger but let me tell you this - I’m not surprised.

Descriptions of funding rows and cut-throat competition where childish tiffs can escalate into all-out wars and end with permanent divisions is not a description of our beloved party politics - these are the latest battle lines being drawn over – wait for it – children’s birthday parties. And they are not for the faint hearted.

Make your kids party a success and the world will be at your feet. Fail and you might as well leave the country.  No longer can you get away with some jelly and ice cream and pass the parcel bundled into layers of yesterday Sun (minus the page three trip hazard).  Now you must start planning the minute that the previous bash has been consigned to the recycling bin.  On your list of must haves will be a DJ, hosting hoards of avaricious piranha kids in a themed venue with a feature cake and a professional entertainer. Then if you know what’s good for you wont forget the bouncy castle in the shape of Frozen what’s-it-called, an army of face painters and of course the only reason most of the kids have even bothered to show up, party bags full of treats.  It makes the upcoming election look like, well child’s play!   And then there is the ride home with projectile vomiting of what looks like nuclear waste interspersed with ‘e’ number fuelled behaviour that would look more at home at a Labour party conference.

In other news that nasty Nigel of the UKippers has apparently admitted that his party is not a “credible” party.  An explosive party document leaked to the Mirror reports nasty Nigel saying that the party has “promised the earth to everybody”. And “We are not passing the credibility test as a party,” Whoops!

Catchup with you tomorrow.

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