Monday, 16 September 2019

Keep Active Unless You Are Childless!

Keep Active Unless You Are Childless!

News today that inactivity kills more people than obesity. Personally I am thrilled to hear that my ten-minute there and ten-minute back hike to the chippy, some of which is up a very slight incline could be my deliverance. I am wondering what the message is here. Is it OK to be obese as long as you haul your flabby rear end out the door for a 20-minute brisk walk each day?

The fact that a body, and yes I do include myself in this, is on the more generous side must surely mean that as well as salad dodging, the owner of the lardy bod must also be pretty unfamiliar with sports or any kind of serious walking footwear except of course those joke oversized traineresque slippers. And if you are motivated to wobble around the park, then probably you will also be motivated to do something about stopping eating your own body weight in crisps every day as you sit curled up on the sofa watching Jeremy Kyle. But then again, what am I saving myself for?

Another report today says that the new fiscal concern is the number of people who will have no children to look after them in their old age. Given that it’s probably too late for me to have any offspring that I can foist myself onto when I’m a very unattractive, incontinent, embarrassing, toothless old crone, I will inevitably become public enemy number one to the state when I reach that point. In that case I suppose there’s nothing for it but to cut back on the exercise and have another bag of crisps. Now where’s the remote? Catch up with you tomorrow!

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