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Saturday, 28 March 2020

Kenyan Lawyer offers President Obama some cows for daughter's hand in marriage

Kenyan Lawyer offers President Obama some cows for daughter's hand in marriage
kenyan-lawyer-offers-president-obama-some-cows

Catchup News was baffled to hear reports today that a Kenyan lawyer has offered Barack Obama a flock of livestock in return for his eldest daughter’s hand in marriage. This isn’t an Aladdin remake… this is real life. Felix Kiprono revealed to The Nairobian newspaper his plans to put the proposal to Mr Obama in person during the US President’s visit to Kenya, which is due to take place in July. He is offering 50 cows, 70 sheep and 30 goats in exchange for Malia’s hand in marriage. What a bargain?? We didn’t realise that people still acted this way. Insane people, sure, but real people it would seem, think that livestock are the equivalent of a marriage. We say sure, go ahead and make the offer, but it’s really Malia that you should be asking. She might want a couple of goats running around the White House. Kiprono said: “I am currently drafting a letter to Obama to please have Malia accompany him for this trip," according to Sky News. He went on to outline the matrimonial bliss he is offering the 16 year old: “I will teach Malia how to milk, cook ugali (porridge) and prepare mursik (traditional sour milk) like any other Kalenjin woman.” Sounds… appealing?? He  went on to explain that his love for Malia began during her father’s presidential campaign in 2008 and he has been saving himself for her ever since. He explained to the newspaper: “I got interested in her in 2008. As a matter of fact, I haven’t dated anyone since and promise to be faithful to her.” Okay things just got very creepy, let’s all back away slowly. More from Catchup News after we’re far enough away to break into a sprint.

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