Friday, 28 February 2020

Stars rephrase lyrics that they penned in their youth.

Stars rephrase lyrics that they penned in their youth.

"When I was young, I was going for a whole different vibe. I wasn't so sure about what I was trying to say but now, I think, I have it figured out a bit more." Beyonce admitted at a 'Stars tell it like it is' conference recently,"Maybe saying, 'all the single ladies' was over-reaching because I was young, sexy and confident but now that I am not as young but still equally as sexy and confident, I realize that what I meant to say was 'all of the single ladies who are at the concert that I am performing at right now.'

Fans snapped and cried along to her brave admission. Mr. West stepped forward shortly after, letting us all know that he was indeed, in the building.

"I let you finish because you had the best music video in the world. I hear you. I hear you. When I was young, I was brash. I said a lot of things that may have hurt a lot of people but I take some of that back now. I know that I offended an ex girlfriend of mine with a song but now I can see that maybe she wasn't so much a  gold-digger as somebody who was working a minimum wage job so that she could pay her way through college and I interpreted her as that due to my privileged position and ignorance. You dig?"

Taylor Swift cut in, "Maybe I didn't have a right to call the wall of a toilet cubicle a blank space that belonged to me...and maybe I shouldn't have written names all over it. I have a hell of a lot of exes and all of them helped me to make me the musician that I am today. A musician that sings songs almost exclusively about her exes."

At this point, the ceiling cracked open and Lady Gaga descended in a cloud of dust, telling the crowd that maybe just dancing wasn't the answer to all of life's problems but rather, dancing, smiling and good dental hygiene.

At this point, stars that had tentatively hung in the wings, bravely shimmied forward to address the crowd. Rihanna admitted that perhaps she had demanded too much of her partner by making her feel like the only girl in the world and that she should have focused on more realistic relationship goals like making her feel like she was the only girl in North America. After downing a glass full of three different colured spirits, Pink noted that there were in fact some attorneys available to plead her case.

But all stars agreed that Rod Stewart is sexy.

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