Valentines Ideas, Battle Buses and Dickheads.

Valentines is nearly upon us and the question has to be asked - will you be inundated or in, undated? Well if the man in your life does not come up with the goods Catchupnews has a suggestion. Just cancel those Valentine's Day plans and burn all the cards you get. On second thoughts, maybe recycle them. For a paltry £100 - and for all those of you out there who are bankers, or lawyers that is about four minutes of your wages, for the rest of us it’s - yikes! - you can hire a buff, nearly in the buff butler to wait on you hand foot and finger and even run a lovely bath for you to soak in on Valentine's Day. And a hunk from might sound a better deal when you know that that £100 covers 2 hours, and not the customary 2 minutes! Sorry lads!

Also intent on currying favour with the ladies Labour have launched a pink election battle bus in an attempt to draw crowds of pink obsessed females to it in pied piperesque fashion. Not sure that is going to do it lads, in fact women are up in arms already with cries of ‘patronising’ ringing in the air. But wait, maybe if you put a fluffy kitten on each of the seats….?

In other news a mutant pig that was born with the face of a human and a penis on its head has been causing quite a stir. Not sure why, its surely not the first time that a right dickhead has been born?

Catchup tomorrow!

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