Friday, 10 April 2020

Theresa May resigns

​English Prime Minister Theresa May declared her resignation from the position during a brief and teary speech in front of her Browning Street lodging. May will now have to relocate from the place, and it is unknown to Catchupnews what her new occupation will be. Perhaps taking evening classes at Hogwarts – she may learn some magic in order to fina...
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Jamie Oliver declares bankruptcy

​The famous Naked Chef Jamie Oliver has been stripped of some of his property and was obliged to declare bankruptcy, Catchupnews learns from well-informed sources. Oliver will also have to give up on his restaurant chain, which could leave almost 1,000 people jobless. The business proved to be a bite too large for this chef.

Baby storks in UK after centuries long wait

​Some things are just worth waiting for. After months of prolongated separation process between Britain and the European Union, with all the affairs and unfruitful liaisons connected to it, most of the people following the news could experience the loss of appetite and other cravings. But not the storks. They somehow felt obliged to mingle and bree...
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Brexit drained Britons but they can always sip Brexit energy drink

​Two Polish guys got a simple yet efficient idea on how to cash in on the ongoing Brexit drama - by launching an energy drink called Brexit. The name Brexit is in honour of politicians, magicians, failed lovers, and constant fablers from both sides of the Channel. It tastes just like them – overly sweetened, bubbly, and alluring, but with long...
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David Beckham gets six-month driving ban

​David Beckham, a current Victoria's husband, and a former football player, just got a six-month driving ban for using a phone while steering the wheel. The impossibility of the task was enhanced by the fact that his wife was on the phone, Catchupnews reveals. Beckham already had six points on his driving licence, but evidently thought it was a tok...
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Shrimp substance abuse plummeting

​An Environment International study discovered some quite unexpected facts about water inhabitants, especially shrimps. The study states that shrimps are prone to substance abuse, cocaine being their favourite, but ketamine, pesticides, and pharmaceuticals are also popular, Catchupnews learns. The use of recreational drugs was a surprising fact to ...
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Mrs May questioned about her European liaisons

Theresa May, British Prime Minister, was once again questioned about her affairs across La Manche, this time by MPs on the Liaison Committee. The MPs wanted to know all about her plans for the future, and whether she thinks she got the right one and if their relationship is serious, Catchupnews reveals. "I'm reluctant to put an actual date on it, e...
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French president Macron tried to put veto on Brexit delay

The last meeting in Brussels could have gone awry for Brits - French president Emmanuel Macron threatened to put a veto on the Brexit delay. Catchupnews was unofficially told that Macron got severely jealous because Theresa May is a couple of years older than his wife Brigitte. The fact infuriated him to such an extent for he thought he married the...
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Queen returns to horse riding

​Her Majesty Queen Elisabeth II was recently spotted riding her beloved Fell pony in Windsor. The Queen returned to her favourite activity after a series of incidents involving royal family members behind steering wheels. The Queen's neighbours told Catchupnews that she's a bit hesitant to drive until Mercury leaves its retrograde phase.

Pamela Anderson's bravery goes beyond lifeguarding

​She saved a thousand lives as a lifeguard during her Baywatch days, and still continues to showcase bravery. Unlike many other prominent figures who only indulge themselves in the sacredness of their positions and treasures, Pamela Anderson made clear and poignant statements about the current world matters. Some publishers are even considering com...
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