Tuesday, 07 April 2020

9 Months before I was born...

9 Months before I was born...

​Teenage chinchilla slayer


When he was in 9th grade, there was a cute girl who had a party over at her house out in the country. He really liked her. Her family raised chinchillas, and everyone wanted to see them. There were hundreds of them. There was also a platform with battery cables on it. He asked what was that for. And the girl promised to show what they were for. She...
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​Her dress caught fire


Someone should seriously consider putting the warning: "Inflammable Material. Keep away from fire" on wedding dresses. Sparkling candles, bonfires and other fiery stuff are quite common nowadays. It's nice to look at, very romantic and gives an extra spark for the celebration. But again, we should think about the safety before we set off fireworks....
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​She threw up at her own wedding


Usually throwing up doesn't start until the wedding party is well on and everyone has had a bit too much to drink. In this case, it went differently. The bride was super nervous. She felt sick while walking on the aisle. Her friends and relatives comforted her saying it's normal to be nervous, and it all will be fine. But it was only going wor...
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​He spent £10million and now makes £10 per hour


Not all of us are finance geniuses of course, but some lottery millionaires have still managed to arrange their lives in a way that they don't have to work ever again. For an average spender, £10million would be enough to live more than 350 years without worrying about money. You can even make sure your parents never had to work again. Instead, 19-...
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​He wanted to use a plastic bag as a condom


She was out partying when she met a guy from Colorado. He was studying in Spain as an exchange student. They talked, had a drink, made out and decided to to go to his place. On a way to his bed, he dropped two pieces of news. First, he was a virgin, second, he didn't have a condom. But, he said, he was happy to use a plastic bag instead. Source: Bu...
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He cleaned the table with tortillas


This group of friends went to a burrito place after the party. Unfortunately, one guy was quite drunk and spilt the drinks all over the table. Seeing the mess, the workers simply shook their heads, but none of them was prepared to see what came next. The drunk guy decided to wipe up the mess with other people's tortillas. After cleaning, he tried t...
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​Don't give your beer to a police officer if you are underage


During the first week of classes, there was a college party in someone's yard. All of a sudden policemen pulled up to bust the party. Freshmen were losing their minds. One girl handed her beer to a uniformed police officer and said: "Hold my beer, I'm underage and the cops are here!" The policeman looked at her with amazement, and said: "How in the...
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​Never underestimate your guests' ability to party


In this brides wedding, a lot of guests didn't shy away from drinking a lot. Her mum's best friend danced drunk on a table and flashed everyone. Her brother wore a garter on his head while smoking a cigar and sipping whiskey. Her matron in honour got blackout drunk, fell and almost fractured her jaw. Her husband's adult cousins got smashed and vomi...
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Melania Trump’s press conference themed birthday party

​Melania Trump just celebrated yet another birthday in the White House, and for this year's theme chose a funny and familiar setting – a press conference. Catchupnews learns that she made her friends dress as journalists and photographers. Their main focus was on the birthday girl this time, and not on the quirky old man posing as her husband.
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