Wednesday, 08 April 2020

Monks do it better

​One of the world's rarest and best beers - Trappist Westvleteren, produced by Belgian monks, soon will grace the online sphere with its presence. The monks decided it's time to go viral after the series of incidents involving resale of their precious product for much bigger prices. From now on they will sell the famous beer only to the upright cus...
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Trump's former chief strategist will allegedly teach and preach politics at Italian monastery

​The former White House former Chief Strategist Steve Bannon allegedly bought a medieval Italian monastery, and he's planning to open a political centre for young and prosperous politicians. As Catchupnews unofficially learns, the studies will include subjects such as Cambridge Analytica, Polls and whores, and Best hair for politicians. 

Kanye's desert service - great way to sweat sin off


​Kanye West has been preaching for a while now. His Sunday services take place in a desert, and are frequently attended by celebrities such as his sisters-in-law. Considering the desert heat, it is a great way to sweat off all sins, and, as Catchupnews was privately informed, a great way to lose extra pounds. The topic for the following Sunday: A p...
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Trump speaks to God on daily basis


Trump's BFF, currently serving as a Secretary of State, Mr Mike Pompeo, opened about Trump's daily routine and his close and direct connection to God himself. Pompeo stated that Trump is sent by a divine vision to save Jews from naughty Iran. Catchupnews wonders if that means Trump, as a sort of a Moses impersonator, is capable of walking on seawat...
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